Friday, August 05, 2011

The great Texas heat wave of 2011 (or why I am melting)

Dear Texas,
I love you. I really do. I love how the landscape changes throughout the state. I love how you have beaches, hills and mountains, rivers and lakes, sand hills and green pine forests all in the same state. I love how proud Texans are, how people are generally nice to women with children and try to help them exit a plane instead of cutting them off. I love that the cost of living is a lot less here. Sure, I have issues (well, tons and tons of issues) with the conservative, Christian agenda that seems to want to keep people (especially immigrants and women) poor, unhealthy, uneducated and pregnant. But in general, this is a nice place to be.

I do, however, have some complaints about this weather you're giving us. I know summer in Texas is hot. That's to be expected. We don't have a Boston winter where it's too cold and snowy to be able to do anything, but we do have a summer so hot you also really can't go out and do anything. I accept that. I am just not so keen on this 110 degree business though. If I wanted that, I'd move to Arizona where at least it's cool at night. And I know it's dry here generally, but I need a little more change of scenery beyond sunny and hot with a chance of clouds for three months. I need at least a good hail storm or severe thunderstorm to make up for the monotony.

It's so hot that it's too hot to swim even. It's hotter than swimming in a bathtub. It's like swimming in a hot tub. It's not even refreshing unless you do it at 10 p.m. and there's a cool breeze.

I will no doubt look back on this wistfully in January when there is an inch of ice on the ground, but I would willingly trade one for the other. Now, how do we go about changing some of this? Do you need a good rain dance? A cloud dance? Vodka? Brie? The new Chelsea Handler book? You name it.

Thanks, Texas. Love ya!


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