There are two main kinds of ants you'll run into in Texas. The small ones are fire ants and the big ones are carpenter ants. The little ones are mean and feisty. If they sting you, it hurts almost as bad as getting stung by a bee. Worse, it's easy to step into an ant pile and get stung a dozen times before you figure out what's what. The carpenter ants are big suckers. They are probably an eighth of an inch long. They also travel in big ant piles, but they're fun to watch because they so clearly carry pieces of food and earth that are ten times their size.
Down at the ranch, Dad, Andy and I were down by the Colorado River throwing rocks and such into the water. On our way back, Andy was clearly tired and slow moving. It didn't help that he stepped into a pile of fire ants and we had to spend time picking them off his clothes and socks. Dad picked him up and started carrying him on his shoulders as we walked back to the house.
"Ow, ow! My penis hurts!" Andy shouted.
"What's wrong? It is stuck?" I asked calmly, figuring that his pants had ridden up. Bjorn taught him that it's stuck when he pants given him a wedgie.
"No! Ants! It hurts!" he said. By now my dad has put him on the ground.
"It's okay. We'll fix it," I said. "Let's pull your pants down and readjust."
"No! It hurts! It's biting me!"
So we quickly pull his pants down. Sure enough, there on the tip of his penis is a huge carpenter ant. I must say, that ant did look pretty darn enormous next to the boy parts of a four year old.
He was fairly traumatized by the whole thing, as Bjorn and my dad understood. We did call and get a ride back to the house rather than trying to walk. Fortunately, it was a carpenter ant so it was a bite vs. a real sting. I must say I am proud of the adults for not falling over laughing at the whole thing.