Dinner time

A thread went around among the mothers in my playgroup about dinner. It seems we're all under the impression that we should be making time to all have dinner together as a family every night, yet very few have been able to actually make it happen and we're all feeling like failures.

In our case, Andy is really hungry by the time I get him home from the sitter's between 5:30 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. So I usually throw some dinner together for him quickly, usually some array of fruits and vegetables, some cheese along with some meat like turkey, chicken, ham (often deli slices) or lately, fish sticks. If there are leftovers for myself, I'll eat with him. Often as he eats, I'll start working on our dinner, usually something fancy like spagetti. By about 6:30 p.m. or so, Bjorn gets home and if I'm lucky, he finishes dinner while I start the bath and bedtime ritual. So by the time Andy is in bed between say 7 p.m. and 8 p.m., I come down and we eat together.

I like the concept of dinner together, but it just ain't happening right now. I do find it interesting that as mothers, we're all preprogrammed for the guilt over doing the right thing. We're all striving for some ideal that is unrealistic yet we stress over our failure to acheive it. It's like all those that say you have to breast feed for at least a year, "wear" your baby for comfort and "cosleep" with your baby to help him/her feel secure or else you're a failure as a parent. I say, if your kid is happy and healthy, how could you be a failure?

Of course, as I debate this in my head and less eloquently here, I'm away in San Francisco for work for two nights feeling the guilt for being away. They boys will get along great. I think time with me out of the picture is good for their relationship. Although knowing that intellectually and knowing that in my heart when I'm sleeping in a spare (but quite expensive) hotel room are two different things.